What if your a loser

If all three of the items applied to you, welcome aboard the loser train, buddy! Only one? If none of these applied to you, then thank you for stopping by, Mr. All three apply to me. I probably just called you out on being a loser, too. You might be mad at me for doing that sad face.

Just like AA, the first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And just like an alcoholic, this is the hardest fucking part. You know that Facebook friend who keeps posting about fitness?

Why do we find her so annoying? Nobody wants to be flawed, though everybody is. Denial is psychologically way easier and comfortable. That denial, though, has led us to the point of maximum suckage.

Brutal honesty with yourself is key. In order to start improving, we have to start being absolutely ruthless with ourselves and stop sugar-coating every damn thing. Fuck you, world, for damning me to this loser fate!

But wait a second. We are officially better off and have way more tools and options than billions of people out there. We made ourselves losers. Again, absolute ruthlessness with yourself. Accept responsibility. Nah, I can totally get a job. Speaking of special…. This is totally natural, so try not to beat yourself up over it.

In reality, this makes life very difficult and can lead to feelings of unhappiness, jealousy, and inadequacy, which all too often lead to us feeling like failures or losers.

Most of us have someone in our lives that we look up to and absolutely adore, but who accidentally makes us feel quite bad about ourselves. By trying to set up healthier thought processes, you will start to create a much better mindset for yourself.

This essentially means that if we have a similar thought process over and over again, it becomes very natural to us. If we can try to rationalize our thoughts and re-program our minds, we can reroute them so that they jump to another thought. What can I learn from this? They may even be feeling the same as you right now. By asking them about these kinds of issues as well as just talking about it, you can start to make a lot more sense of what is going on.

The more aware we are that other people struggle too, the less daunting and huge our own feelings will seem. Your friend with the husband and the baby might actually be slightly miserable deep down and may resent you for being single.

By learning more about how other people feel and how they deal with their emotions, you may find ways to tackle your own issues. This date may have made him feel good about himself once again. But, by looking into how other people have dealt with similar experiences, you can start to try to shift your behaviors. It can be hard to pinpoint what actually makes us feel this way, which can make it even harder to deal with and move on from.

Do your best to find whatever it is that triggers these feelings. Keeping a journal of your emotions can be really helpful — you can record simple parts of each day and then fill in what feelings crop up and when.

If you do feel like there is no real reason or pattern behind the mood swings or low moments, it may be worth speaking to your doctor as there could be something physical going on. Remember while doing all of this that you are a human being — you are built to react to things around you and there is nothing wrong with that. Part of feeling like a failure is feeling very stuck where you are in life. Speak to your boss about setting objectives.

Having a target to work toward is great for most of us — a little bit of pressure can be beneficial as we push ourselves that bit harder…. Similarly, ask at your gym for a list of goals to work toward, or set them yourself. Things like pushing yourself to run a few extra kilometers over the next month or moving up the weights system are good ways to empower yourself.

Differences of opinions are natural, the world is full of points of view. A lack of tolerance for others or an inability to listen can be destructive to not just our own lives, but everyone around us as well as the societies we belong to. But the irony is that excessive pride or admiration for how you look or what you achieve is actually quite ugly and may even spill over into narcissism.

The more you feel the need to big yourself up, the chances are the more of a loser you feel deep down. I read that gossiping serves some kind of social function. Research has suggested it can stave off loneliness, facilitate bonding and act as a form of entertainment. Unkindness, meanness, or even cruelty towards other people, whether that is to their face or behind their back is pretty much just bullying.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy and our own behaviour is the most disrespectful that we tolerate — whether it is through destructive habits or unkind self-talk. Before writing this article, I was doing some research to see what qualities people thought were signs of being a loser. I noticed that quite a few viewed a lack of ambition or absence of goals as loser behaviour. I love the dreamers and doers who have big ideas and plans. If you have them, then great, go after them.

But I think that many of us also feel pressured to accomplish things in life, in order to feel good enough. Like we always should be working towards something momentous. Does that make you a loser? That is often when we feel lost, stuck or apathetic. Experts tend to agree that seeking meaningfulness in life is even more important than happiness.

But I wonder if the trick is actually to discover meaning in everything we do and find purpose in the smallest of things. That way we see everyday life as the miracle that it actually is. In a way, maybe finding purpose is an exercise in mindfulness rather than in acquisition.