When do husbands cheat

Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it, depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with. You may, however, want to explore how the dynamics between you and your spouse led you to this point. Recognizing that infidelity is a symptom of deeper issues can lead a couple to fix the underlying problems in their relationship and grow closer.

If you were the one cheated on, it's critical to realize that you're not responsible for your spouse making the decision to cheat. You are not to blame for his or her behavior. Women tend to find emotional affairs more threatening than sexual affairs, whereas men are more willing to forgive emotional affairs but for both, the most common response to learning of their partner's affair is jealousy.

Even if you were the one wronged, working with a professional may be helpful in coping and recovering yourself. Unresolved jealousy can lead to resentment, and as the old adage claims: "Resentment is like poison you drink yourself, and then wait for the other person to die.

Some couples can move past infidelity and move on to have even an even better relationship, whereas some cannot. Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended. Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs. This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger.

If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage. Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice. Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential. That doesn't say it will work out. It may not. But without accepting full responsibility not blaming or justifying your behavior the chances will be low. The chance that you can get past the affair depends on many factors, such as the reasons why it occurred and the characteristics of both people.

To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own. For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key. There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated.

But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily, are the best insurance plans to protect your marriage.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. J Comp Psychol. The Demographics of Infidelity in America. Erratum for PMID Therap Adv Gastroenterol. DOI: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships. Unmet emotional needs can also motivate infidelity.

Emotional infidelity can be tricky to define, but it generally refers to a situation where someone invest a lot of emotional energy in someone besides their partner.

This can lead to an intimate connection that resembles a relationship. A simple desire to have sex can motivate some people to cheat.

But someone who wants to have sex might also look for opportunities to do so without any other motivators. Even people who have sexually fulfilling relationships might still want to have more sex with other people. This might result from a high level of sexual desire, not necessarily any sexual or intimate issues in the relationship. In the context of a relationship, the desire for variety often relates to sex. Attraction is another big part of variety. Some people in monogamous relationships might have a hard time not acting on those feelings of attraction.

Having sex with a new person can lead to positive feelings. You might feel empowered, attractive, confident, or successful. These feelings can build up your self-esteem. Many people who cheat because of self-esteem issues have loving, supportive partners who offer compassion and encouragement. Receiving admiration and approval from someone new, on the other hand, can seem different and exciting.

This is partly why some people will go to great lengths to keep their infidelity from their partner. Still, it can cause significant damage to a relationship. You might want to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. And that's really the most important thing. But knowing when to walk away, too, is just as important. It's a deeper issue, and there are deeper roots that need to be addressed.

And if the partner who cheated isn't willing to work on things but rather is dismissive of their partner's hurt, "to me that's not going to be a situation that's ever going to lead to a healthy relationship again," Birkel says. Often the partner who did the cheating may find themselves in a state of deep shame, but Birkel notes there's a difference between feeling guilty and feeling shame.

Being cheated on is nothing short of a traumatic experience, and there can be so many reasons it might have happened in different relationships and contexts. But no matter the reason, one thing can be certain: Infidelity forces both of you to take a step back, look at what went wrong, and decide how you want to move forward from there—if at all.

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Log in Profile. Saved Articles. Contact Support. Log Out. Your cart is empty. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Explore Classes. Expert review by Kristie Overstreet, Ph. Kristie Overstreet, Ph. She is a licensed counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. She is also a certified sex therapist, certified addiction professional, and president of the Therapy Department, a private practice in Orange County that provides counseling services throughout the United States.

February 24, Man or woman, gay or straight—anyone can cheat. But why? Healthy men who cheat occasionally on their partners are not pathological. While chronic cheaters pursue infidelity because of deeper-rooted attachment disorders and sex addictions, healthier men cheat out of immaturity. Weiss recalls one man who came to him in a counseling session expressing his urge to cheat on his wife with a colleague.

He advised him to treat his marriage as a contract. When he did, he saw the pain it would cause her before doing it, rather than retroactively — and guess what? He never cheated. To Weiss, only that level of maturity and consideration can keep men from cheating.