Why is chuck norris so badass

Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball. When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money. When Chuck Norris comes to your house he breaks your tooth and takes your money. Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back. When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape. If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out. Chuck Norris is the reason that Wally is always hiding. Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains. Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear. When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris's parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.

He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris makes onions cry. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire. The Flash discovered how to run at the speed of light when he discovered Chuck Norris was looking for him. Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry. Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris v. Nature Jokes Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box. There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.

The sun has to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris glances at it. Although Spector says he's surprised the Chuck Norris "facts" have lasted, he thinks they succeed because there is a forumula for making them work.

Spector is surprised that many people do consider Chuck Norris to be the ultimate badass based on the jokes he's helped propagate. He may have a point, says Los Angeles-based branding expert Grant Powell. They wouldn't work for, say, Steven Seagal because Norris takes himself so seriously that he doesn't take himself seriously.

Still, Powell understands Norris' concerns over Spector's book. No effort was made to contact Norris for this article because, to paraphrase a John Updike quote, gods don't answer fan mail.

However, Leslie Greif, the creator of "Walker: Texas Ranger" says there are ample reasons why testosterone-fueled "facts" like this one: "Chuck Norris designed the first Ed Hardy shirt when he ran out of douchebags to kill" still strike a resonance in fans and fear in the hearts of evil men. Unlike Spector, Greif believes the jokes will have staying power, much like the Greek myths of Hercules or tall tales like Paul Bunyan.

Comedian Jay Thomas, who is best known as Eddie LeBec on "Cheers" and currently hosts a talk show on Sirius satellite radio, isn't so sure. If I know my kids, I think they will hoard these books for 40 years and then they will put out the jokes themselves using someone else's name. Comedy writer Pat Gorse, who writes for Radio Online and has worked with Rodney Dangerfield and "The Tonight Show," thinks Norris' lack of public response -- other than his lawsuit against Spector -- is the best response.

Whether the jokes disappear from the public consciousness or are handed to future generations, like Helen Keller jokes, remains to be seen. Still, Spector has made a name for himself as the go-to guy for celebrity brand recognition. Chuck Norris as depicted on the poster for 'A Force of One' Source: wrongsideoftheart.

Toughest guy on the internet? That's easy -- it's Chuck Norris, obviously. This star of action films got his start in the '70s, learning from Bruce Lee and then headlining his own films.

Norris is a martial-arts master who also looked pretty badass wielding Uzis, rocket launchers, sawed-off shotguns and the like. Norris' innate strength and skill, his ability to defeat literally anyone or anything in movies like The Octagon and Delta Force , makes him ideal fodder for internet memes, like these:.

Life often takes us in unexpected directions. For the one and only Chuck Norris, life changed course more often than a drunken sailor. Thankfully, for Norris, all the unpredictable twists and turns finished with a wildly successful Hollywood career and more mail order business than Shark Tank.

From podunk Oklahoma to Walker, Texas Ranger and ending on the internet as the lord of memes, no path resembles the path of one Chuck Norris. Norris also became an author many times over. After graduating high school, Norris joined the Air Force as an Air Policeman, hoping to find his way into law enforcement post-military. As the legend goes, Norris found himself in a bar brawl and realized he needed to learn how to defend himself. After leaving the military he opened a chain of martial arts schools.

Norris even created his own martial art Chun Kuk Do. After winning a few national martial arts competitions in America, Norris opened his own martial arts school.

Eventually, a company approached him with a business proposition to increase his reach. Anyway, two years later I lost everything.